Loss is one of the core issues in adoption. Every child and parent in adoption has experienced loss of some kind—whether the loss of their birth family or loss of a control of what a child experience in their early life. Understanding this loss and the resulting grief can help adoptive parents be more successful… More
The memory is vivid. I am eight years old and I am screaming. I am hysterical in my room. I ache at a level that I cannot give words. Over and over again I cry that no one loves me and that I don’t fit. My father holds me. He cries while I cry. He… More
Christen: When our two biological sons were 12 and 16, my husband and I chose to expand our family through adoption. In 2010 we welcomed a sibling set of four—Olivia, Samantha, Serena, and Zach, ages 3, 5, 7 and 9—into our lives and hearts. Despite hearing that families often faced challenges in the early stages… More
Children and youth in the child welfare system want a life free of pain and full of love. If possible, most want to live with their parents. We in the system cannot discount or minimize the power of love between children and their birth parents. While parents may have had inadequate parenting capacity, most have… More
Ambiguous loss—a feeling of grief or distress combined with confusion about the lost person or relationship—is a normal aspect of adoption. Parents who adopt children with special needs may feel ambiguous loss related to what the child could have been had he not been exposed to toxic chemicals in utero, or abused and neglected after… More